Admit it, you love GBBO now. A few years ago you were a bit cynical about a primetime competitive baking program. But now, you look forward to it every year, refuse to miss an episode, have a clear favourite and think of yourself as somewhat of an expert.
The trouble is, whilst you’re watching them bake impressive feats which defy the laws of gravity, you can’t eat them. It’s normal to feel hungry.
And that’s why I’ve created The Great British Bake Off Eating Game 2016. It’s just like a drinking game, but instead of downing your favoured tipple, you instead select a bake of your own choosing.
With biscuit week, you may buy a packet of chocolate digestives. During cake week you can choose to scoff some home-made cupcakes. Try a few share bags when they’re making chocolates. Or perhaps you’ll just buy a loaf of white bread and eat a slice whilst watching them knead dough.
Whatever you choose to stuff your face with, this eating game is guaranteed to leave you bloated and put on the best part of a stone by the end of the series.
If you’re on a diet, scroll no further. But if you’re carefree and ready for a challenge, get your prized bakes ready and start scoffing on my marks…
*imagine in Sue Perkin’s trademark “Bake” voice”
Share The Great British Bake Off Eating Game with your friends and family so you can all get fat together by hovering over the picture. After all, you don’t want to be only one increasing in size, do you?
However, if you don’t want to put on weight, may I suggest you visit the gym before GBBO starts, so that way, you won’t feel as guilty?
And for a bonus scone, I would be grateful if someone could explain the purpose of these steps down a slight slope into the tent…